Dear Mr. Badger

Dear Mr. Badger,

This was bound to happen sooner or later.

It’s been four months since you’ve been gone. 17 weeks. It doesn’t feel that long, but I checked the calendar. Since you passed away, people have been lighting up your Facebook page, tagging pictures of you, inviting you to events, posting “miss you" messages on your wall. I know your family looks at your page, and I hope it gives them some comfort, as much comfort as possible—you know, knowing that you were and are loved.

That being said, I want to punch every last one of those people in the face.

Meat

My touch o’ the shine warns me what he’s about to do about two seconds before he does it.

We’re locked together tightly in a hello kiss that turned serious, and when we come up for air after a few minutes, he exclaims, “God, it’s so good to see you!” He locks his arms around me in a solid squeeze, giving that little growl all guys seem to do when they squeeze you hard, and then my touch o’ the shine just says:  “Oh, shit…get ready!”, and I know exactly what he’s going to do. I have just enough time to draw the deepest breath possible to let out an extended squeal of “Nooooooo!” as he transforms his bear hug into an attempt to lift me up.

I don’t quite get this, but it happens all the time. Dudes, whether you’re making out with them or not, get excited to see you, give you the big hug, growl a little while doing it, and then try to lift you up. I don’t know where this comes from, but I see it happen to girls all the time. And then guys try to do the same to me….

The Cocoon

Not everyone has SuperPowers, you know. If they did, they wouldn't be so super. Trudie, for example, does not have any SuperPowers. She has something far, far more impressive, though. Trudie has magic.

Let it be known that when I say "magic", I'm not talking about the prestidigitation of some sketch, middle-aged dude in a mock turtleneck and a bad independent mustache. I'm talking for-real magic. It's ancient; it's domestic; it revolves around the home and the hearth and the heart. And it runs in her family.

I was, like always, alone in the car, on my way from here to there, but I happened to be passing through Trudie's patch of woods, so she asked me to stop for the night at her family home.